Faith

 I've been struggling to write this post for a long time.  Almost a month.  And before that I had another one I started to write but just couldn't find words.  I don't know if I will find them for this one.. but I'm going to try.

2013 was a year of so many ups and downs.  I couldn't have been more happy to see 2014.   Not that that magical midnight hour changed anything, or erased anything, but it was a fresh start of sorts.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still struggling every single day.  More so this past week than before I think.

I know most everyone knows, but in case they don't; Krysten passed away on December 18th after a long and hard fight with cystic fibrosis her entire life, but especially this year.  She is still the biggest fighter I know.

She came into my life and just was this positive burst of energy that I will never forget.  She found goodness in everything and everyone, and I learned so much from her in such a short period of time.  I'm forever grateful that my brother brought her into our lives.  She is the sister I never had, and I love her so so much.

I know that she is an angel in heaven and is dancing up there having a great time.  I know that she is now breathing easy and is watching over every single one of her family and friends.   I keep telling myself this over and over, but it still just doesn't make it easier on my heart. This week has been an especially tough one, I'm not sure why.  I guess the busyness of the holidays has passed, and now I' m stuck with my own thoughts.  I'm in tears writing this, but I have faith that she is ok and loving life in heaven.

I'm so thankful for the memories we have together.  I don't have as many as a lot of her friends and family, but it's enough and I will always cherish them.  I will never forget the week we spent in Hatteras, camping trips, weekly family dinners, and all of her wonderful wedding events.  I printed pics from all of them and put them in frames all around my house.  Such fun times :)

Coming back to faith, in honor of her I am having it tattooed on my wrist along with the CF ribbon and a butterfly.  I've been thinking of what to get for her since last April, and it finally came to me the day she passed.  I can't wait to get it and look down and see "her" all the time.

I love you sister, forever and always.  I will never forget you.  As hard as this is on us here on earth, we all know that you are in a better place and are breathing easy.